My stupid ovaries (another reason to love Gregg)

So, it was this week last year that I had laproscopy to determine what the heck was wrong with my insides, ie: why weren't we getting preg.

We had 1/2 the story at this point because we had gone through ALL the testing (ie: I HAD GONE THROUGH ALL THE TESTING, Gregg's only job was the read some porn in the doctor'soffice.), including (close your ears boys) DAILY transvag U/S to "watch" the progress of the egg folicles growing during my endless cycles.

I was on 1 drug to grow egg folicles, 1 to ovulate, and 1 to have a period. Yes, it's true, I couldn't even do that right. I would go, at times, 50-60 days without a cycle, and would be taking 2 home preg tests a day, and then to doc for pee stick test, and then to doc for blood test to check my BHGC levels (which were evidently the same as a castrated pig!) I was prodded for blood samples almost daily as well, to see if I was responding to any drugs, and if my estrogen levels were rising. Of course, we found out those were again at the level of a castrated pig. Basically, Gregg has more estrogen than I do. How I ever got boobs will forever be a mystery, since I'm chemically practically a freakin' guy!!! (Does that make Gregg gay? Should we have gotten married in Calif or Mass??) So, we had the laproscopy, and on October 12th got the "total" results:

1. My body kills Gregg's little swimmers. don't ask me why. I've always been an aggresive girl in the romance department, but this is ridiculous! Even when they did the "wash" and took only the best little swimmers, 2 seconds in me and they are all dead or paralyzed. go figure.

2. My body doesn't have enough Estrogen to regulate a cycle, not enough Progesterone to have a period. Period. Again, no reasons why. And no, I don't know why I don't have a hairy chest or deeper voice.

3. I have endo (okay, most everyone does, because it's what all the cool kids are doing!) that encapsulates both ovaries. Not a problem most of the time, but when the ovaries swell w/ a growing follicle, it becomes a problem because the endo stops everything. Clamps down, and no egg can be released into the express-carpool-lane to my uterus (and the waiting, dead, swimmers.) The mature egg just dies/ is reabsorbed in the ovaries.

As we all know boys, if the girl doesn't come to the party, there is no party!

So, Gregg and I trying to conceive is really like that scene in Austin Powers w/ the fembots: Cue swingin' 60s soundtrack. Dim the lights. It's a party, and everyone is feelin' good. There are comfy couches, hot girls, and guys in tight pants (wait, could that be the problem?) The wine is flowing freely. The clothes are coming off, IT'S GETTNG HOT IN HERE, AND I FEEL RANDY!!
But then the girl pulls out a machine gun and mows down everyone in the room. And it's over. It's all over. Then the girl turns out to be a fembot and the computer fails, and she smokes and her head falls off. (Okay, okay, I admit I added that last part for effect, that wasn't really in the movie.)

So, the decision to adopt was really, I guess, made for us. We just want to be parents. End of story. Doesn't matter how that happens. We feel so very lucky that we can adopt from ETH, and KNOW our baby is out there somewhere. CHI is just helping us find him/her.

Now, you may wonder (as I often do) how I can tell this sad tale and keep a grin on my face. (you cannot see my face, but take my word for it, there is a grin there.) I figure our "little problem" with infertility was basically just getting us ready for parenthood. If you cannot laugh, if you've lost your sense of humor, you aren't ready. Life often sucks, but that's okay. The ONLY thing you control is your own actions/ reactions to the world around you. You have a choice. You can chose to wallow in self-pity and be depressed and feel helpless. Or you can chose to find a solution, a clever way around the obstacle. I can be a real "Sunshine Sally" and that annoys a lot (including my hubby at times) because I just refuse to get down about this for any real length of time. (believe me, the wine really comes in handy in this department!)

I'm going to be a mommy. Let me repeat that, I'm going to be a mommy!!! Does it matter how that happens? Heck no! I don't hate my body for this, but I'm not yet super-fond of it. at the same time, I find it odd and wonderful and thrilling that Gregg could very likely have bio babies with someone else, but chooses not to. He'd rather have a life with me. (see pic above, isn't he dreamy?!) How great is that?! so, with an incredibly understanding and loving husband, a killer sense of humor, and my glass of wine (not now, good grief it's only 8 am, that's coffee!), I think we're in pretty good shape after all!