Some of you are wondering why it took 8 mos between when we were first accepted into the ETH program and our home study visit, ie: why at nearly 1 year we don't have our dossier out.
Well, we were a couple who knew we wanted to be parents. In fact, that's probably the No. 2 reason we got married (No. 1 being the fact Gregg cannot live without me in his life!) Shortly after our wedding, we were TTC. Shortly after that, we were at the reproductive endocrinologist being subjected to a liteny of tests. Last summer/early fall we started talking about adoption. I had always wanted to adopt, and just figured we have 1 or 2 bio "homegrown" kids, and then adopt a couple. When we were told last October we could not, on our own, ever conceive, we were, of course, disappointed. But we just wanted to be parents -- nothing else mattered. I had already researched agencies (I had a feeling we were going to get the news it "wasn't going to happen" without serious medical intervention) and had the CHI DVD & brochures in the house. We reviewed everything and talked to the local CHI office about Columbia and ETH and found that ETH was the best program for us and our family.
Well, after we applied and were accepted by CHI, they figured out we had only been married 1 year. Most programs added the time you were together as a couple, so we didn't think being married only 1 year (but together 6) would be a problem. Evidently, it is in ETH. After a lot of tears (on my part, Gregg doesn't cry unless something heavy is dropped on his feet, or he sees a mouse -- sorry babe for sharing your secret!) CHI told us to just wait, and be ready to send our dossier out on our 2nd anniversary (Oct 28th.) After researching a SW agency, and finding one we really liked, and applying, it took some time to have that first homestudy; its a busy agency. Then, about 3 hours after our SW left our home, I was rushed to the hospital for ER gallbladder surgery. I was out of commission for 3 weeks, and then overwhelmed when I returned full-force to work. Needless to say, that slowed us down on a lot of the documentation that was required.
We had our final homestudy meeting -- to discuss those pesky 40 essay questions -- in August, and had hoped to have our homestudy completed several weeks ago (as those of you who ready this blog regularly are well aware of.) We have since had difficulties getting our Foster License from DCFS. Today, I wrote our governor, lt. gov, state rep, state senator, etc., begging for help navigating DCFS waters -- we'll see what happens.
But, in the end, I figure we'll only be about 2-3 mos behind from our "goal" of the dossier out October 28th. While that seems like a lifetime now, I've waited almost 36 years to be a mom, so I think I can hang on an extra 3 mos.
Oh -- while writing this, the Walkers got a referral for a 6 mos old little baby girl!!! Congrats Steve & Aimee!!!!!
The Weekly Ramble – August 29, 2025
21 hours ago
6 comments:
I surely hope that you get the help soon! I am frusterated for you!
Elise
ugh...our DCFS "hold" was almost 6 months, and when I contacted our State Rep and State Senator, they kept pointing the finger back at CHI...wonder what it will take for Illinois to finally get their act together!
Soon...it will happen in just the right timing!!
I was wondering why when you started a year ago, you were still in the homestudy phase. I didn't know Ethiopia had a marriage length requirement.
Oh, I'm so excited for Steve and Amy. I believe they originally were going to adopt from Vietnam.
This is so hard. I will be praying for peaace and strength for you.
what a long road it's been for you already, Meg! So sorry to hear what you've had to go through and hope you get the needed answers from the state level.
Thanks Meg. I know how frustrating the initial paperwork can be. I can't even imagine having this additional redtape. I hope it all gets straightened out soon.
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