Final set of prints

(Huge thank you to Jill, for reminding me that the previous picture of our 10 cards actually showed our SSN & home address. Thanks Jill. These only show our names, and I believe, unless you are named Gil Grissom, you couldn't pull the photographs of these prints and use them for evil. And if your name is Gil Grissom -- call me, I love you!)

Today, Gregg and I had our FINAL set of fingerprints taken.
We mistakenly thought we had our final set taken in September, when we had our electronic prints for Immigration. Nope, we needed another 10 card for ANOTHER State Police criminal clearance. See, the 1st State Police criminal clearance was completed in July, and we couldn't get it notarized this month because it was determined to be too old. So I sent off for the "official" State Police 10-card (for hard prints, as opposed to electronic prints), and today Gregg and I went to our local PD for final round with the ink pad. I felt bad, because several officers asked if they did something wrong before (it's a small town, they know us.) The officer said I took better, cleaner prints than Gregg (Green Meg says it's because he was trying to flirt but Gregg was right there...I chose to agree with her. Primarily, because he was super young and yesterday I actually deposed, for the first time, a physician who was YOUNGER than me. Gosh, how did that happen? Well, being the youngest kid in the room during all legal proceedings was fun while it lasted. I had a good, solid, 9 year run.)

We weren't allowed to take pictures of ourselves getting printed, go figure. But I did snag a picture of the completed prints before sending them off to Joliet for processing.

We then went to our banks -- and will pick up our financial letters on the 15th when our accounts are a bit phatter.

Documents we are awaiting prior to submitting our dossier:
1. State police clearance.
2. My birth certificate
3. Financial letters
4. copy of our house deed.
We anticipate receiving all prior to Christmas, for those counting.

New timelines to ponder

I have received a lot of questions about the timeline with our new agency. Because AA is so small (they have a lot of experience, but are very selective with the amount of families they have in each program), their time-lines are MUCH shorter than other similarly situated IA agencies, or at least others we investigated.

Since we received our Golden Ticket last night, we are now just awaiting on our State Police clearance (9th set of prints, and 2nd time for this, but State will not certify if the clearance is over 30 days old -- I guess Gregg looks "shifty" and "dangerous" after all!), my IN birth certificate, and that's it. Once we have those documents, I'll get everything IL State certified and will send the original dossier out to Oregon. AA had us set up a FedEx account, so everything travels within a 24 hour period (NICE!!) Our dossier will get Wash DC certified, and then will go out to ETH. I anticipate our DTE will be sometime the first 1/2 of January. Then, we are a waiting family.
The "official" timeline at AA for a referral (no matter singleton or sibs) is 1-5 months; however, the actual time is 6-16 WEEKS. Yes, weeks. With that in mind, we anticipate a referral sometime in March or April. Yes, March or April, but let's say April to stay on the safe side. You are immediately assigned a court date after you accept the referral, and that is 2-4 weeks after the acceptance. So, if we get a referral in April, our court date will be in May. Then you travel about 1 month later. So, again, if we get a referral in April, we would travel for our Embassy hearing in June. Of course, it could be a little sooner or a little later, depending upon our referral date. But this gives you a general idea.
Basically, SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!! SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!! SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!! SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!! SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!! SAM IS COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!!

WE GOT OUR GOLDEN TICKET!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?????!!! I came home from work today to an envelope from USCIS. I asked Gregg 4x (okay, maybe it was 400 times really fast) "WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT????" He said he didn't know. I read it over and over and just didn't get it. We are officially pre-approved for our I-600. Okay, what does that mean?

I called my friend Meghan, because she just submitted her dossier so I knew she recently had this experience. She calmly told me to look at the bottom of the form "what's the form number Meg?" "Umm, I don't know, umm 171 OHMYGOSHITSTHE171HOHMYGOSHITSOURGOLDENTICKETITCAMETODAY!!!!!! I'm jumping up and down at this point and calling Gregg into the kitchen and telling him we have our Golden Ticket.

Wow -- so given last week's holiday, we received our Golden Ticket in 2 weeks. This means that, once again, Jim Rogal Rocks it like a Rock Star!! I even called Jenni and instructed her to give him a big smooch from us when she saw him tonight.

So now -- we just have 6 little pieces of paper we need and then we can submit our dossier. I'm sure my birth certificate will take the longest. But I don't care. I'm thrilled beyond belief because I'm now 100% sure that we'll be a waiting family in the month of January.

All that for a gold star?

Please forgive the crappy picture quality -- the above was taken on my camera phone.

For those playing at home, WE RECEIVED GREGG'S CONNECTICUT STATE CERTIFIED BIRTH CERTIFICATE TODAY. Boy, you gotta love that small CT government -- very efficient. They did a 1 week turn around for certifying the document. Funny thing -- no original signature, just a stamp and a gold star. I love gold stars as much as the rest of the obsessive-people-pleasing crowd, but heck, couldn't it be just a little more?? I would hate to think the IN and IL certifications will be this, well, BLAH. for the money we pay for certification -- I would like some balloons or something will a little more pa-zazz, you know? But I'll take this!!

We are OFFICIALLY Official with AA as of today, so I'm taking the receipt of Gregg's certified BC as a sign of how fast things will move now. For those counting, we still need for following prior to filing our dossier & becoming a waiting family:

1. Newly notarized medical letters (they are in the mail now, and we should receive tomorrow);

2. Newly signed and notarized "obligation" letter from our HS agency;

3. Newly updated State Police criminal clearance (the old ones were done in July, so the state wouldn't certify them. We have our 7th fingerprint appointment set for Tuesday);

4. Notarized financial letter from our banks (getting these on Tuesday as well);

5. Notarized copy of our house deed (Gregg is working on this);

6. 171-H GOLDEN TICKET (It's only been 2 weeks, so I'm not worried yet); and

7. State certified birth certificate for Meg (the "new" original BC should be in the mail by now, and I'm fed-exing to my parents so they can hand-deliver in INDY for certification.)

Now that I have a Fed-Ex account (mandatory for our new agency), I can track everything, which gives me a re-newed sense of control over the paperchase. It also is moving things along much faster!

I am estimating that we'll have all of the above no later than mid-January. Of course, I think the 171-H will be the last document. Once we finish all our IL documents, I'll have those state certified while we await my BC and the 171-H. Then we are ready to bundle, write a HUGE check, and be a waiting family. How sweet does that sound??!!

We've made a decision?

I know it seems crazy, but I think we've made a decision on the "which agency should we move to" front. You are thinking, or rather, I would be thinking if I were you, that its only been a week so what's the rush and how in the heck could you have adequately researched everything in that time period. Well, it's actually been longer than a week, but it's only been a week since I've said anything publicly, or rather, privately since this is a private blog. The rush is that we haven't yet submitted our dossier. Once you submit your dossier, you are pretty much set with your agency, because you don't want to lose $4000-5000. If we switch NOW, we will likely receive our program fees back, and will only really be out our application fee.

How was this decision reached? Well, let me start by saying no FINAL decision has been made and we haven't "fired" our agency yet. We won't make a FINAL decision and tell our original agency until after we sign a contract. The decision to leave was relatively easy once we found out (via various websites, personal discussions, and blogs) that many things we were told were Ethiopian rules or laws, were actually agency rules. For example, Ethiopia does not have a "2 year marriage rule", that was just our agency's rule. Which means, we have literally wasted this past year. We could already have our child, had we originally gone with another agency. We were never told this was an agency rule, and never told other agencies didn't have this rule. Honestly, I feel both hurt and stupid, because I should have researched this independently. But who would ASSUME their agency was lying to them? Additionally, ETH doesn't have a "birth order" rule, or even an "age of youngest child in household/ 3 years between siblings" rule. These were all agency rules. On top of that, other agencies are bringing healthy babies together with their forever families sooner and have shorter waiting lists. So the decision to leave became easy.

What agency to go to? I read websites, blogs, literature. I read ratings sites a la Hotels Dot Com. I called new mommy-to-be friends who have switched agencies. I emailed directors and reviewed fee schedules. Today, I had a conference call with the director of Adoption Avenues
and really, really liked him. He is a physician, his wife (co-founder) is also a physician. They have dedicated their lives to uniting orphans with their forever families. This guy was non-nonsense and really spelled out the facts for me. I was impressed with him and his organization. So, I think, I'm pretty sure, about 95% sure right now, that we are switching to this agency. When we are 100% sure, I'll let you know, but I'll admit, it's looking good.

Yes, we do have to re-do, change and obtain some new dossier documents, but it won't be a problem getting them before Immigration sends our Golden Ticket. I figure we have a good month to go on that.

Here's the kicker people: we will receive a referral within 1-4 months after our DTE. The average time now is 6-12 weeks. Yes, WEEKS. Not months, WEEKS. Wow. We will likely have our baby home by the end of May. Can you believe that?

Is a Birth Certificate a Birth Certificate by any other name?

(this isn't an angry venting post. I'm not angry. I just think it's rediculously funny. At least, today I do.)

Wow -- I feel like Green Meg today.

So -- we got our birth certificates (official copies) several months ago. But they need to be state certified. We both were born out-of-state. My AAC, Toni, provided me the numbers for IN and CT sec'y of state to find out the process. I figured we just had to mail them out there and they would be stamped and that was it. NOPE. Crazy me for thinking ANYTHING regarding international adoption would be a piece of cake. HA!

The birth certificates we have are "county issued" and are not the "official official" birth certificates you need for state certification. Rather, we need the "long form" birth certificate. So, I called Indiana (CT is already closed, 5:40 their time) and found out that the snail mail turn around for birth certificates is 40 days. Yikes! YES you heard correctly, 40 days. That is just for the birth certificate, not for the state certification. Needless to say, the customer service rep easily convinced me to spent the $30 extra on UPS delivery which is, get this 5-10 business days. What?? Since when does UPS take 5-10 days to deliver anything? I don't live in Siberia. I live in Chicago -- where there is a UPS hub. And since when does it take 5-10 days to "create" a birth certificate?? Are they carving the thing out of marble?? But I'll take it. Then I'll give to my parents to have state certifed in Indianapolis. If they go in person, it will be certified while they wait (ie: immediately), if I mail it, it could take up to 14 days.

I'll call CT tomorrow morning. Let's hope we already have the "real" birth certificate for Gregg (I think so, it's longer and signed by a physician.) If so, then we just have to mail it out to get certified. However, we only have 1 copy, and I don't know if I feel okay about mailing out that 1 single copy. Maybe I should order additional ones just in case??

Again, I'm not mad at this, I just think it's absolutely rediculous. So I have to laugh. Because what are my other options. I'm not to the point where I feel comfortable crying over a birth certificate. Now, if we receive our Golden Ticket soon, and we are waiting on the birth certificates for our dossier to go out (again, think Green Meg) then, at that point in time, the tears will start flowing. Liberally.

Letter to my US Senator

Dear Sen. Durbin:

I think you are really great and am so glad we still have you in the Senate even though we lost Sen. Obama (but I'm not complaining about that, mind you.)

I heard from the Rogals that you are THE MAN to ask for help about Federal issues. See, we are adopting our first child, a baby from ETH. And, well, like most agencies, USCIS is a huge headache. Although I filed my homestudy and DCFS certification today, how can I be sure they'll reach my file? How do I track that?
How do I know they won't get lost, or shreaded or mistakenly placed in someone elses's file?

We really, really, really, really want to become a "waiting family" this year, and the 171-H is the last piece of the puzzle, the final document so that can happen. I was wondering if you could make a
threatening phone call to someone in Immigration (no one seems to know who is in charge over there these days) and MAKE something happen. I will honestly be happy if I know my file is all together and we'll have our
GOLDEN TICKET in the next month. I would be thrilled with sooner, and really disappointed with later.

So, if you can tap USCIS with your magic wand, and help bring our baby home sooner, I would really, really appreciate it and would put your on our holiday card list, and call you my BFF on facebook forever and ever.

Thanks so much,

Sam's Mom.

Why so nervous???

I am normally a girl with a lot of moxie. My mom would call me fearless.
I just go and do things and don't really worry about messing it up (from my end.) However, I am really nervous about taking the homestudy to USCIS tomorrow. Why? I don't know. I guess I'm afraid of messing it up. How could I mess up delivering a shaff of papers to a government agency? I don't know. But I'm nervous.

Maybe I'm not nervous about us tomorrow but our friends the Browns. they have court and I know Sandi is almost numb at this point. The Hoskens have court the next day. Same thing with Amanda. I have been telling each of them every day for the past month that everything will go through smoothly and they'll be in ETH in December and home well before the holidays with their families finally complete. What if I'm wrong? What if there is no electricity in the courthouse that day? What if a child's name is misspelled? What if the parent's name is misspelled. What if only 1 birthparent signed a form that 2 should have?

Or could it be that I'm afraid that we'll be caught in the rainy season next year. That our DTE date will be in January and we'll get a referral in August and then have to sit and wait, looking at our child's picture 100 times a day, for court in October. Could I handle that? Why am I worrying about that at this point?

Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. Maybe a nap right now would do me good. I think I'll take one and see if I feel more "fearless" in about 1 hour.

Why Jim Rogal ROCKS it like a Rock-Star

So -- after my last post, several asked me what the wait time is in IL for the Golden Ticket. I honestly don't know. I didn't know any IL BTDT families but the Grisgby-Rogals and knew they have been home w/ Mamush for about 1 year. But I went ahead and called Jenni. She wasn't home, but with Mamush in the background, her lovely husband Jim offered to help the crazy-lady on the other end of the line. It went like this:

Me: Umm, hi, I'm Meg and a friend of Jenni's. Well not exactly, she's never met me. We're a CHI family, and umm, well you don't know me, but I just got my homestudy and wanted to know how long the 171-H takes in IL and you are the only IL family I know and I realize I sound like a wacko right now.
Jim: (laughing) that's okay, I get calls like this a lot.
Me: (nervous laugh) umm, okay. Do you remember how long it took you guys? I know it was over a year ago.
Jim: Well, it took 1 week.
Me: WHAT??!!!!
Jim: It took 1 week after we gave them the homestudy...We called our Senator.
Me: Dick Durbin?
Jim: Yes.
Me: I LOVE that guy!
Jim: So do we.
Me: But he's really busy. I don't want to bother him.
Jim: Call his staff in Chicago, they will help.
Me: Really?
Jim: Yes. Or call the USCIS person in Springfield, her name is Sarah Frejlich. You can find her number online.
Me: Really?
Jim: Yes.
Me: Ummm, thanks so much. Really really thank you. And um, tell Jenni to call me sometime. Okay. Thanks. Really thanks so much.
Jim: okay, goodbye.

(Note: the above conversation has been slightly altered so as to make the caller sound LESS in need of psychotropic medication than she actually sounded during the actual call. This is called "literary license.")

JIM ROGAL ROCKS. HE IS SO AWESOME. He didn't call the cops or have the phone call traced or otherwise act like he KNEW I was a crazy-lady. He was really sweet and nice and gave me the "inside" line to quick USCIS paperwork.

I have always "hearted" Mamush -- now I "heart" his dad too!
I am going to call Dick Durbin's Chicago office and send a letter on Monday, after I hand deliver the homestudy to the USCIS field office.
Woo-Hoo!

HOMESTUDY HOMESTUDY HOMESTUDY!!!

It finally happened folks! We have the DCFS certification letter and the original signed, dated, & notarized Homestudy. Yes, you heard it right, we have the homestudy. WE ARE APPROVED TO PARENT A CHILD AGE 0-18 MONTHS.

I will be hand-delivering this baby to the USCIS field office in Chicago on Monday morning myself. Then, we await our Golden Ticket (171-H.) I am hoping it will take 30-45 days, but am prepared if it takes longer. It shouldn't though, because they have EVERYTHING they need to process it.

We have the homestudy, We have the homestudy, We have the homestudy, We have the homestudy!!!!! Air Hi-Five for the 3 DeZuttis!!!!

Our big night out

Tonight Gregg and I went to a charity ball for one of my hospital clients. We had a great time. Someone was good enough to take the first picture with the Chicago skyline to out back. We love it and yes, (warning spoiler alert) it will be our holiday card this year. Gregg really wanted a picture of him in his tux (he owns it, and yes the tie is real, I tied it myself) and dress coat. His brothers don't believe he actually owns clothing like this so he wanted photographic proof. ha!

Gregg really pulled out the stops and was Mr. Charming and Romance. Gotta tell ya, I'm a very, very lucky girl!! I really married the best guy.

Tomorrow I need to get some work done, and then we are doing our final piece of required education for white families adopting a black child (another workbook). We then have to make an appointment w/ our SW to review our answers and have her sign a certificate. Please understand, I realize how important this education is, but I sometimes feel all we talk about is being the white parents of black children.

Speaking of the adoption, our HS has now been certified by DCFS, and should be back at our SW's office this week. I'll have Gregg pick it up by hand, and I'll deliver it by hand to USCIS.

More fun postings tomorrow my faithful friends. Have a great night.

The EAGLE HAS LANDED!!!!!

Basecamp to Houston, the Eagle has landed, the egg is in mama's nest. I repeat, the Eagle has landed and the egg is safe in the nest!!

I just received confirmation that our HS is at DCFS in Springfield right now! It is being reviewed and will shortly receive the confirmation letter and stamp. Seriously! This is not a test of the Emergency Broadcast System, this is real. DCFS has our HS. Our finalized HS. It is going to certify it. Really and truly. Can you freakin' believe it???!!!!!

That means that within a few short days we will receive the HS & certification and I will hand-deliver these documents to our USCIS field office (4 blocks from my law firm). That means that in a few weeks (or months) our dossier will be ready and we will have a DTE and will be a waiting family! That means that I may be a mommy this summer or in the very least this fall!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy my heart is about to explode. And my wonderful fantastic husband turned his stupid phone off because AT&T is changing out his stupid smart card, which was never that bright in my opinion and his phone has to charge for the next x amount of hours so I cannot talk to him and that sucks. But I'm so happy now I could sing a show-tune, and likely will. Co-workers beware!

Timing is everything

So -- needless to say for those who read my blog, yesterday was not one of my better days. However, it provided a lot of time for reflection, and I think I am in a much better place because of it. Here's what I mean:

The Foster License came yesterday, but it says "Dezuth" instead of "Dezutti". Totally DCFS fault, because I saw all the clearances before they went to that department for the license, and they all say "Dezutti." So, my SW has to send a correction to DCFS for the license, however Mary Donoly told me it won't slow anything down. Then, I found out that Mary hadn't received the HS that was supposed to be sent last friday, and was actually sent on Wednesday. I had the tracking number myself, and looked it up -- it had been delivered to an address in Chicago on Thursday and signed for. So I questioned my SW, what the heck is going on here -- should have been sent to Springfield??!! Right??!! Ends up my SW sent a bunch of paperworkd to USCIS and put my HS in that pile. (So USCIS has my homestudy but it hasn't been DCFS certified, so it will be bounced.) My SW said she'll resend the HS to DCFS on Monday. (I know, you're wondering where this post gets positive. Wait for it my friends, it will come.)

You would think I'd be pretty darn mad at all this. simple goofs messing things up for us. But I'm not. Really, I'm not faking here, I'm seriously okay. See, I have come to the realization that our baby hasn't been born yet. It would be fruitless for our DTE to be now, because we'd just wait and wait because our baby hasn't been born yet. I think every single wait, goof, and waste of time has been because (say it with me folks) our baby hasn't been born yet. I now think our DTE is MEANT to be in January or Feb, because our baby will be born in late winter/early spring. It wouldn't make sense to have it any other way.

I know what you're thinking (this actually means if you were me, I know what you are thinking at this point reading this post. I don't actually know what YOU the reader are thinking, because I haven't fully developed my super-hero powers yet.) -- won't our baby be referred to someone who has an early DTE and the same request (0-12 mos, either gender) and is higher up on "The List"?? My answer is NO. I don't know if our baby will stay w/ birth parents or relatives a longer time, or what the precise circumstances will be, but I just know that our baby is our baby, and any delays are so he/she is matched w/ us, when the baby comes to Tsegay's attention for a referral. THIS IS MEANT TO BE.

Now, most of you have figured out at this point in my blogging career that I'm Buddhist, not Christian. But, that doesn't exclude the possibility that I believe in fate, or have faith in this process. I do. For those aren't familiar w/ Buddhist philosophy, here is your 3 minute education on the Bardo and Karma:

(FRIENDLY WARNING, slightly heavy philosophical information to follow, skip over if you don't care to learn more about Buddhism.)


Karma -- like in science every action has an equal reaction. Everything you do, say, think, creates Karma or energy. That energy can be positive or negative. That energy or "Karmic signature" is carried with you into the next life. Whoa, you lost me Meg, "next life", you mean Heaven? Nope, not necessarily. The basic Buddhist belief is that we are in a place called "Samsara" (think EARTH) now, and we are all suffering to different degrees. When we learn the skills to stop suffering, we leave Samsara (and go to a place that can be thought of as the Christian "Heaven" or Muslim "Paradise") While in Samsara we are reborn many, many times, based upon our "Karmic signature" to learn the lessons and skills we need to stop suffering. If you do really bad things (murder) you are born into lower realms of Samsara (hell realms) but then can be reborn in higher realms. The hell realms aren't permenent at all.

There is a time between death and rebirth called Bardo. The Bardo is the in-between place where we make some choices based upon our knowledge and Karmic signature and determine our own rebirth. Buddhist sutras (scriptures) teach us that babies actually chose their parents; while in the Bardo we determine where we will be reborn. Sometimes this is for us, sometimes this is to teach others, sometimes it is a stepping stone to another family, etc.

So, I believe that our child has not been reborn yet, but when he/she is, he/she has chosen to be reborn to his/her birth family for a reason. Maybe our child is such a pure joy, he/she picked the birth family to bring some joy and love into their difficult lives, if only for a few months. I believe our child's Karmic signature knows he/she will be relenquished or abandoned and WE will be our child's forever family.

(END of heavy Buddhist philosophy for those who skipped over.)


There is a plan to all of this, and that plan is to bring our child to us. Not "A" child, but "OUR" child. So, whether you are Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or "undetermined at present" I hope you feel this way about your child(ren). I am okay w/ the wait because I see a purpose to all of it. I hope you do too.

EXPEDITED HS

So, it gets even better folks! DCFS has taken a "special interest" in my case and is EXPEDITING our HS. I got a call from my SW who just spoke w/ Mary Donoly at DCFS. The Foster License is on its way, and Mary has agreed to take the HS w/o the Foster License Number. Instead, she'll look it up in the computer (we pass all our clearances) and will affix the number herself. She is going to Expedite the HS, and turn it around within 7-10 days. On top of that, my SW is fed-ex'ing the HS to DCFS today, so it will be there Monday morning. I should have it back by November 7th, so I can turn around and fed-ex it to Immigration for our 171-H. I've heard things are moving faster there as well.

What a great way to start the weekend!!!!!

Home Study news

So -- believe it or not, we actually have some good news on the HS front.

This week I received the amended HS, and made the additions required for ETH, per our AAC, Toni. I turned it back to our SW on Wednesday, and forwarded our Passport numbers Thursday morning. Thurday I received a call from Mary Donnally, the head of interstate and international adoption for DCFS and the State of IL. I had sent some letters to the governor, lt. gov, senator, and rep about 2 weeks ago, expressing my frustration over not yet having a Foster License, HS, and issues w/ DCFS. Well, someone actually read that letter and the gov's office forwarded it to Ms. Donnally. She called me the same day she received the letter, and actually called me back this morning before I even had a chance to return her call. Can you believe that? I cannot.

It ends up that we SHOULD have our Foster License. In fact, all of our clearances (local police, Fed, and child abuse) came back clean over 45 days ago. She checked the system and has calls out to find out what the hold-up is. She said she will personally make sure we have the Foster License immediately. she also explained the different requirements between IL and the FED gov't. Some of the paperwork we had been completing was not, in fact, required for IL. Ms. Donnaly is THE PERSON who certifies the HS before it is sent to the Dept of Immigration. She confirmed that in 8 years, she has never taken more than 2 weeks to certify and send-off a HS. She actually signed and sent one this morning that was dated 10-22. YEAH!! She is going to keep in contact with me, and make sure our HS gets certified and out to Immigration as soon as she receives it.

I'm so happy I "complained" and sent that letter!!! I'm thrilled that someone read it and is taking action. I feel confident that she'll have the HS out to USCIS by mid-November, if not earlier. This means that our dossier could go to ETH in late December/early January. I'm so relieved! Maybe, just maybe, we'll have our baby in our arms this summer!!!!!!

My wonderful husband...and the late HS

So Gregg is pretty terrific. Did I even mention this before? Well, he is. Here is one reason why. This week he cleared out part of the basement and changed all the light fixtures and set up my old dining room table to create a sewing area for me. My first project is hemming some curtains ... cannot really mess that up, now can I?

I did get the material for the curtains for Sam's room, but now I'm second thinking the fabric, so I don't know if I'll make those for the nursery or for our room. I just cannot make up my mind. I didn't get the drapery backing, because it goes on sale tomorrow (but the fabric was on-sale and goes off-sale tomorrow) so I have to go back. Maybe something will catch my eye and I'll keep the green for our room (which is now blue but is being painted green.) The fabric I got is a khaki-green w/ a bronze & chocolate floral design. Since the curtains will be double fullness, you won't really see the design, just the colors and I think it will be a nice neutral. I just don't know if it's for the nursery or not. There is a green recliner/rocker in there, and I don't want too much green. Oh gosh, someone needs to make up my mind for me. I didn't want "baby" curtains but we won't always have crib bedding...I need to stop obsessing about this.

Well -- HS news. There is none. Other than the fact they sent us a bill for $2600. But the HS hasn't been sent to AAC Toni, or DCFS. I could just scream. Actually I would feel better if I could cry but for some reason I cannot. Maybe I'll put in a movie tonight that makes me cry and then I'll feel better? Don't know. I'd better stop this post, because I'm just going to talk about the late HS more...

1 year -- 366 days

I called Gregg just now to remind him that today is 1 year since we started our journey to Sam. 365 days. Gregg, in turn, reminded me that 2008 was a leap year, so it's technically been 366 days...and asked if that made me sadder (yes, that is a word we use in the DeZutti house. sorry to all the English majors out there.) I told him NO, that just means we are 1 day closer to having Sam in our arms.

Gregg likes to make everything an analogy to racing. (Specifically, Formula 1. If Gregg wasn't so tall and leggy, he would likely have had a professional racing career. Despite the legs, he still races his Alfa, but he just looks really silly, like he's in a clown car.) He is going up to his favorite track this weekend, Road America in Elkhart Lake WI, for the annual Alfa Romeo Owner's Club track event. So, he told me:

We are 3/4 of the way done with our race. We are about to turn the corner into the home stretch. When our dossier goes out, and we are on the wait list, that will be turning the last corner. Then we will be able to SEE the finish line. Gregg cannot wait to take his victory lap with the checkered flag, and the baby in his arms! Me too!

HOME STUDY draft

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I received the homestudy draft via email today. There are corrections to be made, sure, but I finally have the draft in my hands (or on my screan as the case may be.) I feel like I just lept over another hurdle. There will be about 80 million more, but 1 hurdle at a time, right?
So -- we have to make changes/additions to it. Then it is "reviewed" by the head SW at the agency, then it goes to AAC for review, then it goes to DCFS. Assuming we have the Foster License next week, we should see a DCFS turn-around of 2-3 weeks, then off to USCIS.
Yeah!

Why on "Hold"??

Some of you are wondering why it took 8 mos between when we were first accepted into the ETH program and our home study visit, ie: why at nearly 1 year we don't have our dossier out.
Well, we were a couple who knew we wanted to be parents. In fact, that's probably the No. 2 reason we got married (No. 1 being the fact Gregg cannot live without me in his life!) Shortly after our wedding, we were TTC. Shortly after that, we were at the reproductive endocrinologist being subjected to a liteny of tests. Last summer/early fall we started talking about adoption. I had always wanted to adopt, and just figured we have 1 or 2 bio "homegrown" kids, and then adopt a couple. When we were told last October we could not, on our own, ever conceive, we were, of course, disappointed. But we just wanted to be parents -- nothing else mattered. I had already researched agencies (I had a feeling we were going to get the news it "wasn't going to happen" without serious medical intervention) and had the CHI DVD & brochures in the house. We reviewed everything and talked to the local CHI office about Columbia and ETH and found that ETH was the best program for us and our family.

Well, after we applied and were accepted by CHI, they figured out we had only been married 1 year. Most programs added the time you were together as a couple, so we didn't think being married only 1 year (but together 6) would be a problem. Evidently, it is in ETH. After a lot of tears (on my part, Gregg doesn't cry unless something heavy is dropped on his feet, or he sees a mouse -- sorry babe for sharing your secret!) CHI told us to just wait, and be ready to send our dossier out on our 2nd anniversary (Oct 28th.) After researching a SW agency, and finding one we really liked, and applying, it took some time to have that first homestudy; its a busy agency. Then, about 3 hours after our SW left our home, I was rushed to the hospital for ER gallbladder surgery. I was out of commission for 3 weeks, and then overwhelmed when I returned full-force to work. Needless to say, that slowed us down on a lot of the documentation that was required.

We had our final homestudy meeting -- to discuss those pesky 40 essay questions -- in August, and had hoped to have our homestudy completed several weeks ago (as those of you who ready this blog regularly are well aware of.) We have since had difficulties getting our Foster License from DCFS. Today, I wrote our governor, lt. gov, state rep, state senator, etc., begging for help navigating DCFS waters -- we'll see what happens.

But, in the end, I figure we'll only be about 2-3 mos behind from our "goal" of the dossier out October 28th. While that seems like a lifetime now, I've waited almost 36 years to be a mom, so I think I can hang on an extra 3 mos.

Oh -- while writing this, the Walkers got a referral for a 6 mos old little baby girl!!! Congrats Steve & Aimee!!!!!

Animals on Parade

So -- after such a positive AM blog, I had a tough day w/ problems w/ the Foster license due to DCFS having a meeting on Friday and changing some rules. But I got excellent support from my WSW, my hubby, and my ETH parent friends on our Yahoo groups and feel much better now. I am even going to empower myself and call some folks in Springfield to see what we can do to change some of these rules.

In the meantime, the EllyNelly decals were delivered today (off the Etsy.com site). I put up 1 wall of the Animals on Parade in the nursery. We will have to order another set to finish the other 1/2 of this wall (beyong the window well.) But you can see the results above. The walls are a buttery yellow, and I had too much flash in the picture so it looks more white. The decals are chocolate brown. I LOVE IT!!!