I know you

It's funny. I often hear people comment that technology is separating mankind. Stripping away our civility and humanity. Now that you can send emails instead of hand-written cards, people have lost little courtesies along the way. We don't do business with a handshake anymore. We buy from cyber stores and return by mail. I understand the concerns, but don't think we have lost. Or at least, I haven't lost. I have gained. So much.

If we were adopting 10 years ago, I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't know you. And I feel that I do -- in a deep and profound way, my faithful readers. I know that we are more alike that not. I know we care about the same things. I read your emails, postings and blog comments and hear your personality, your sense of humor, your heartache, your moxy.

I know that, like me, you only wish to parent, and share your heartful of love with a child. It doesn't matter if that child shares your DNA, wining smile, or cowlick at the nap of your neck. It only matters that you love that child more than you knew it was possible to love another human being. I feel the same way.

I know that, like me, you are drawn to Ethiopia. You cannot put it into words, and when someone says "why Ethiopia?" you have a million reasons, but none of them entirely sums it up. In ETH, family is everything. Everything. Children are an absolute gift, more precious than gold. Community is at the heart of everything from everyday shopping to religous festivals. Your neighbors ARE family, and your family lives near enough to be actual neighbors. People help each other out -- in whatever small way they can. Mothers and fathers love their children so much, and only want the best for them. They do not relenquish their children for adoption easily -- no, it is the hardest decision they will ever face. It is a decision made out of the most self-less type of love imaginable. They want their children to have a good life, a life they cannot provide. So they entrust another member of their community to raise their child until a family can adoption him/her. For you also, family is everything. You will raise your child with the same self-less love that his/her parents demonstrated in the moment they took their child to the orphanage you adopted from. You see the stark beauty in this, the intricate dance that brought your child home. I do too.

I want to know you, meet you, have coffee with you. I feel a closeness to you. We are mamas, we share this incredible bond, but it's more than that. I know that if we met in person we would have an instant connection. We would be good friends. We would get together for play dates with our children. We would go shopping togther. We would read books and share them in our own private book club. We would disagree on parenting styles and agree on parenting styles. We would research day-care and nanny-shares. We would celebrate holidays, birthdays, deaths, births, and random Tuesday afternoons.

Without this machine I sit in front of, without this technology, I wouldn't know you existed. You would be a pleasant dream, but that's all. I would hope someone like you was out there, but would know no more.

With this machine, with this "cyber space" world I spend so much time in, I KNOW you exist. And I meet some of you. Not all, but some, and enough to know you all exist in your place in geography. As time goes on I'll meet more of you. I'll come up with excuses to visit Aberdeen South Dakota and Seattle Washington, and Holland Michigan. I'll stop by upstate NY on a business trip, or plan a family vacation to Arizona. I'll visit my family in Indiana the exact week you are visiting your family in Indiana "Oh Amanda, what a funny thing meeting you at this random Olive Garden in Hobart, Indiana, how in the world did that happen??" You know I don't like Olive Garden and neither do you, but we're both there and so we are crying and hugging each other and crying and hugging each others children and our husbands are looking at us like we are nuts, and we probably are, but it doesn't matter because we have found each other. I have found YOU.

You are real!

During this long journey in IA, I've met many, many people. Well, not really "met" but emailed and visited their blogs. Mostly mommies and mamas-to-be. I follow blogs, I am a member of several yahoo group boards, etc. But today was the first time I met any of these mommies and families and heartbreakingly gorgeous babies in person.
Gregg and I attended the Illinois Ethiopian Kids yahoo group Holiday Brunch. What an amazing group of families. Really, we couldn't have hand-picked a better group. Gregg seems like a different person -- all-of-the-sudden very hopeful again regarding the adoption.
I'm close to speechless: I am so grateful to these been there done that's, and waiting families.
I really feel like we met people today, who will turn out to be lifelong friends. Thank you thank you thank you.

Bilzzard Fleece & HIV

I know, weird title today. But it's the two topics I'm thinking about right now, so it made sense to me.

Kate Schutz has me thinking about HIV+ babies and kids. She got me started reading on an addictive blog by a mom of 11 kids, 2 HIV+ ETH babies. The blog is here: Full House Full Hearts Full Hands. Read it, it's superbly amazing!! Basically this woman just opened up her heart and this is where her and her husband landed. She is now an advocate for HIV+ and transracial adoption and works at an adoption agency. Click here to learn more about HIV+ adoption.

For those who don't know, because I see this blog as educational as well as super-fun, HIV is no longer considered a terminal disease. It is chronic and managable. In fact, many babies born to HIV + moms have such low levels in their blood that they only required frequent medical checks, no medications at all. Others require daily medication but suffer no ill side effects. Gone are the days of completely shot immune systems. These kids are living healthy, active, "normal" lives, (whatever that means.) Its really amazing how far medicine has come. And heck, the chances of a "cure" in our lifetimes seems more like a reality every day, so who knows what the future holds.

Since I'm a person with a chronic, non-fatal disease, I think I am uniquely qualified to "get" chronic diseases. As such, I really want to open up my heart and see what happens. Gregg and I have started by "opening up" the conversation. Does this mean we are going to adoption an HIV+ baby/toddler/older child for adoption No. 2? I don't know. It means we are considering it. And I have to say, my heart is really leading me in that direction. In the meantime, it means we are becoming more educated and hopefully, are going to become advocates for HIV+ adoption. Why? Because ALL kids deserve forever families. Period. End of story.

Blizzard Fleece what? Blizzard fleece is just a type of printed fleece fabric. It's great for blankets. I'm looking at blizzard fleece fabrics online because I'm going to enjoy the current sale going on at my local fabric store and get fabrics tonight for the Christmas blankets I'm making. I already called my mom and got the "green light" on a John Deere blanket for dad. I think he's gonna love it! Instead of the uber-expensive Disney licensed fleece ($12.99/year) for Em, I think she's gonna get butterflies or balerinas. She'll still love it. I am looking for dinosaurs for Liv, but my fallback is Pooh. (since it's not disney it's not so expensive.) Most of the Blizzard Fleece is now on sale for $4.99/yard which, with my 10% off coupon, is too good to pass up. (And keep in mind that toddler blankets are about 1/2 the size of adult blankets so it takes almost no material!)

I'll go tonight and will be in fleece heaven at home by 7:30 pm. I think I'm gonna make one for myself as well, considering Lola has appropriated all of my throw blankets in the house. By appropriated, I mean she has taken them, slobbered on them, carries them around like a binky in her mouth, and has chewed holes in them. Nice! so I need my own blanket because I'm not interested in dog slobber while I'm trying to take a nap. Call me crazy, but there it is. I found a gorgous pink & brown argyle and I think I'm gonna pair it with a pink ribbon print on the other side. Who's living room doesn't need more pink? Right??

National Blog month

So I am pretty good about daily blogging, but I'm putting forth an extra effort in November because it's national blog month. There is some acronym that you use if you are doing a blog-a-day for November, but I cannot recall what it is...So I'm just calling it National Blog Month. Anyway, that should explain why you'll get, my dear gentle reader, some pretty boring fare in November. Don't blame me, blame NBM. Complaints can be filed in the "comment" box in the back of the room. Thank you.

November is also National Adoption Awareness Month. Funny, in our house every month is Adoption Awareness Month. We tell everyone about adoption and our journey to ETH. Friends and family for sure, but also co-workers, train buddies, grocery store cashiers, hairdressers, strangers on the street, pretty much anyone who will listen and not run away. Seriously! I am a walking-talking advertisement for Adoption in general and Int'l/ETH adoption in particular. but then again, I think most ETH mamas and mamas-to-be are.

Completely random: I want to be a "hot mama." Seriously. I want to be on the sidelines at a soccer game and the kids get together and say, "did you see Sam's mom, she's hot!" I know that is really petty and small of me, but I was always overweight as a kid, teen, adult and never the hot one, and I want to be the hot one now. I have another 50-60 lbs to reach my goal (which is a BMI, not a number on the scale or a dress size). Of course, my husband says I'm always hot, but I don't think he's very objective. I do care about my appearance now, but I also have changed my diet and exercise and really want to be a good example for my kids. I don't want them to have eatting issues/disorders like me and my sisters did. I want them to love fruits & veggies, and love being outdoors and playing, running, etc. I want exercise to be fun. I want them to be happy and well adjusted and love themselves (in a healthy way, not a Dorian Gray way.) Anyway, I check out these other blogs and am amazing and in awe of all of you -- with kids ranging in age from 18 to under 1, all of you are hot mamas too! I'm thrilled to learn that you can take time for yourself and it keeps you sane and makes you a better mom too. Yeah!! So maybe wanting to be a hot mama isn't so bad afterall?!

Tomorrow is our second charity ball of the season. We are at a table w/ friends and I'll bring the camera this time and get some pictures. I want to use one for our holiday card because heck, everyone looks good in formal wear, right?! I did this smokey-sexy thing w/ my eye makeup last week and I hope I can pull it off again! Otherwise, I am behind on dictation so will be doing work over the weekend. Looks like rain, so we won't be able to do any yard work anyway.

Turkey day is in what? 2-3 weeks? We'll have any evening Turkey Day meal at my m-i-l's and then a Saturday Inskeep Turkey Day. We usually have it on Friday, because of mom's work schedule, but its on Saturday this year for the same reason. We have invited my m-i-l to go with us to Indiana and I hope she says yes! That Friday is her 79th birthday. If you met Joan though, you would think she was about 65-67. She looks great and is very active and young-at-heart. I really won on that aspect of marriage because we get a long well and I really enjoy her company. (and she doesn't read the blog so don't think I'm just sucking-up here. I'm not that type of girl. Well, I am, but she doesn't read the blog so it doesn't matter.) Anyway, I think she would really get a kick out of spending some time w/ my nieces and it would be good for her to get out of the house that weekend. If you dont' go shopping, Thanksgiving weekend can get weird.

Okay -- enough for now. Back to work my friends.