You are real!

During this long journey in IA, I've met many, many people. Well, not really "met" but emailed and visited their blogs. Mostly mommies and mamas-to-be. I follow blogs, I am a member of several yahoo group boards, etc. But today was the first time I met any of these mommies and families and heartbreakingly gorgeous babies in person.
Gregg and I attended the Illinois Ethiopian Kids yahoo group Holiday Brunch. What an amazing group of families. Really, we couldn't have hand-picked a better group. Gregg seems like a different person -- all-of-the-sudden very hopeful again regarding the adoption.
I'm close to speechless: I am so grateful to these been there done that's, and waiting families.
I really feel like we met people today, who will turn out to be lifelong friends. Thank you thank you thank you.

Inskeep Thanksgiving

As you can see from the pictures (some of which were taken by 3 1/2 year old Emma), the Inskeeps had a FABULOUS Thanksgiving today. The food was top-notch, as was the company. Everyone contributed to the meal, and my brother-in-law deep-fried the turkey -- DELISH! The best though, was Manda's pumpkin cheesecake. You'd never know from the taste of looks of it that it was her first try at a cheesecake.
The best part of the day was when I asked Em what she was thankful for, and she said, "You!"
Hope you had as good of a time as we did! I'll post some recipes tomorrow.

Thanksgiving No. 1 -- 2 DeZuttis

Yesterday Gregg and I were Thanksgiving orphans for the first time in 7 years. Because of family scheduling, there wasn't a DeZutti Thanksgiving this year, and the Inskeep Thanksgiving is on Saturday. Gregg and I decided to have a low-key relaxed meal, just us, on our LAST THANKSGIVING WITHOUT BABY SAM. It was actually really neat to be able to have a holiday, knowing that it would be the last one of its kind without Sam. It's amazing to think that in a few short months our lives will chance forever, and next year this time we'll be cleaning mashed potatoes off a little guy's (or girl's) hands, face & likely, head.

Gregg brined an 8 lb turkey. Yes, I said brined. As in a salty liquid to preserve meat and veg. He brought the brine (water, salt & herbs) to a boil on the stove Wednesday night, and then put the thawed turkey in a pot, with the brine, put the lid on, and put the whole thing in the fridge. Let me just say, that it was the best turkey either of us had ever had before. So juicy and tasty. He used rosemary, garlic and whole peppercorns in the brine. I made my smashed potatoes (I keep the skins on, using red russet potatoes, lots of garlic, butter, and veg stock), and Sandi Brown's Cranberry Cheesecake Bars. Warning -- these are dangerous. I mean, they are PERFECT for Thanksgiving because you get your cranberry course and dessert course all in one lovely bite, but I must report that the 9 x 13 pan is almost gone, and it's just the 2 of us!! I think next time I'm going to make them with Stephanie Adam's homemade cranberry sauce. Green beans and gravey rounded out the meal. I had a glass of Michigan Cherry Wine, and Gregg stuck to his usual iced tea. It was a wonderful meal with my favorite person in the world.

Today, I made my from-scratch Carmel Apple pie. I'll post pictures and the recipe tomorrow night, after I cut into it for Inskeep Thanksgiving. Gregg is bringing roasted carrots and sweet potatoes to that. It's at my sister's house, and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE MY GIRLS!!!!!

Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving with family and friends. If you are lucky like us, I hope you have a Thanksgiving No. 2 tomorrow as well! Healthy eating & exercise to start in earnest Monday.

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving Day faithful readers. I hope that you are eating too much food, laughing too hard, and in the words of Em, loving everyone "too much."

Thankful for Supportive Family

I know this is usually a "gimme" when thinking of your blessings, but I am very close with my family, and they are unusually supportive of me in everything I do. So, today,
I'm thankful for my Supportive Family.
My parents have been married for almost 41 years (Dec 30th). I know that's unusual in today's society. There were married young (by my standards, not theirs), my mom was only 21. They have had more than their fair share of ups and downs, financial hardships, kids' illnesses, death of parents...but have stuck it out and reached the other side with more love and friendship and understanding for each other. What a great example for all of us to follow. My mom and dad have always been very supportive of me, my dreams, and my often hair-brained ideas. I know they have not always understood me, or why I was doing what I was doing, but they loved me and provided much needed emotional support.
I am very close to my sisters as well. I honestly couldn't have gotten through the past 2 years without my sister Amanda, who has 2 gorgeous daughters of her own. She has been my "mommy voice of reason" on this crazy infertility and adoption journey.
Aside from the fact that my family absolutely adores Gregg, (seriously, they would have adopted him if we didn't get married), they have been head-over-heels in love with our ETH baby, from the day they knew we were adopting.
It's funny, when we was looking over brochures and trying to decide which program to go with, I had sent some stuff to mom to look at as well. We were on the phone, I distinctly recall this moment, and we both blurted out "ETHIOPIA" at the same time as our first choice. She saw those big brown eyes and cheerful smiles and KNEW her grandson/daughter was Ethiopian. Amazing!
Everyone is on pins and needles awaiting Sam's referral, Sam's photograph, Sam's arrival. Knowing how much they support our decision to adoption transracially, really gives us strength when we second-guess are abilities to do this.
I am so blessed to have an amazing family -- I love you guys so much!!

Thankful for Work

I know I do a lot of complaining about my job, so I thought it would be appropriate to do a "thankful" post about it...

I am Thankful I have work to Complain about.

With Gregg being out of work and in these very difficult economic times, when people are being laid off, often without severence, daily, I am really, really thankful I have a job to complain about.

I often don't take the time to contemplate how much others would love to have my job. I am, and should be every day, thankful I have a cluttered desk, an often frazzled secretary, and piles of medical records in my car trunk. I am, and should be every day, thankful I have back-to-back meetings, settlement negotiations over my cell phone at home, and weeks of 8 depositions. I am thankful my career affords me the opportunity to travel (even if I only see the inside of the airport and hotel), and take long drives (even if I am only watching other semis on the highway.)

I am thankful we could, if we had to, live off of my salary alone. I am thankful we can pay the mortgage and bills. I am thankful my job is secure and I don't have to worry about lay-offs.

I am thankful I work at a "family first" firm, where soccer games and parent-teacher conferences are as important as client meetings. I am thankful the founding partners are 2 working moms and a very dedicated working dad who show me HOW to balance it all every day.

Thankful for Nieces

This was an effortless "thankful" decision: I am thankful for my Nieces!

Em and Liv are the most amazing little people I know. It has been a wonderful gift to be able to watch them grow since the day they were born. Both of them had a distinct personality from day one, that has only strengthened over the years.

Em has the exact same smile she did in her 6 month pictures, which I'm looking at right now. Em is really just a "mini Me" of her dad, Bryan (minus the goatee!). She has a HUGE personality and loves to TALK TALK TALK, just like her Aunt Meg. She has always been a very happy little girl, with a big imagination. She loves to read and will wake me up at 6 in the morning to read books together. She is a cuddly kid, which you know I adore. She loves to give hugs and kisses. She is very inquisitive. When she was less than 2 years old, and I would visit without Gregg (he would be working), she would walk around the house, looking behind doors, saying "Where HE??" She holds the phone between her ear and shoulder, just like Grandma, when talking. She loves to look grownup and do grownup things. Makeup is really big now and she HAS to watch me put mine on and help me along the way. She loves lip gloss (ie: Burts Bees "chapstick") and jewelry. She thinks if you are dressed alike, then you are "twins" and so she picks out outfits so "we be twin now Aunt May!" My biggest joy is talking with her when we are alone. She shares her hopes and dreams, although she doesn't call them that. She likes to tell me secrets and says we have a "best friends club." She is THE BEST!

Liv is fanastic, but VERY different from Em. She was a very fussy baby, and only wanted mom. She still, at 23 months, wants to be held all the time. She is very small, and has developed defense mechanisms because of that -- she pinches like a 4 lbs lobster. Seriously, this girl can break the skin! She also pulls hair. I think this started because others her age and younger are so much bigger than she is, she didn't like getting "pushed around" by rough toddler play. Now, boys 1/2 her age run away from her. It's kinda funny, but I try hard not to laugh. Liv has the lungs of an Olympic swimmer, but has a sweet side as well. She LOVES to play hide & seek, and it's best when she is hiding. She goes into her closet (2 door frames but no actual doors), and peeks out with her "Ta -DA!" grin big as can be! She doesn't like to snuggle, but will still "root" on your shoulder when she is tired. Her laugh is hilarious and she will laugh any anything and everything, because it gets others laughing. She gets very excited and proud of herself when she completes certain tasks. Its so amazing to watch this tiny creature with a huge spirit.

My girls are an absolute joy. I could not, repeat, COULD NOT have survived these past few years of infertility and adoption paperwork without them. They are super excited about "new little baby" and are preparing to play with him/her. Liv is excited to finally have someone smaller than her around! I am so Thankful my sister became a parent first, and allowed me to be such a big part of her family's life. I'm so grateful my nieces have taught me about aunthood and parenthood and cannot wait until their cousin comes home!

51 pages and a final decision

I wrote this weekend. Boy did I write! I finished the first 51 pages of the book we are currently calling "The Road to Sam" of course, that working title may change, especially if we find out Sam is a Sophia! It felt great to get so much down. It's still pretty rough and some sections will undoubtedly get edited to death, but I'm very happy at this point. It's some original stuff, some blog posts, and some letters to Sam from my journal. I feel like I have the bulk of the "back story" done at this point which is good, because I'm always afraid I'll forget something and now it's all down in one place.
At this point it's a book for our family, a chronicle of the journey and Sam's adoption narative. It may, in the future, be something I shop around for "real" publishing. don't know yet. I'll probably end up sending copies to some of you to read and give me the honest trust on whether or not it's funny enough, sad enough, ponient enough, inspiring enough to actually sell copies.

Yesterday, after an hour long talk with my sister, Amanda (who is really my voice of reasoning with parental issues) and a long talk with Gregg, we made the final decision...we are leaving our current adoption agency. I am researching other agencies and have received a lot of good feedback from all of you. We are waivering between Adoption Avenues and Better Futures right now. I need some more information, and have a phone call scheduled with the director of AA tomorrow. We'll see where that takes us. In the meantime, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and feel really great about our decision to move on. This decision will not really effect anything...oh, other than the fact we'll be united with our child a lot sooner. That could never be a bad thing!

I need to get some office work done, and then think about a 'Thankful' post for today. I fell off the 'Thankful post wagon' this weekend and did to get back on.

Thankful for Good Manners

Day 3 of my little Thankful experiment. These are in no order of importance, just what I'm thinking about on a given day.
TodayI'm Thankful for Good Manners.

Maybe it's because I grew up in a very rural Indiana farming community and them moved to Big Bad Chicago (can you say culture shock??!) but I really appreciate good manners. Possibly more than most. My parents raised "please & thank you" kids. My parents raised us to help others out and show gratitude. My parents raised us to call adults "Mr." and "Mrs." and have respect for our elders.

I think good manners are the cornerstone of a cohesive and civilized society. You don't rob your neighbor if he's Mr. Brown, your mom's friend from church choir. You don't run a red light if you know the person on the other side of the intersection. You rake extra leaves and mow past the property line, because its the nice thing to do. You help your neighbor get their groceries, dog, children from the car to the house because its the right thing to do. You shovel out the snow for Ms. Johnson across the street because she is eldery, and you don't know if someone else is going to shovel for her.

When I moved to Chicago I was SHOCKED that people didn't smile and say hello on the street. Call me crazy, but I did that even in school at Purdue (population 65,000.) But Lafayette IN is big because of Purdue, the town itself is still a small midwest town with a slower pace. In Chicago its MOVE MOVE MOVE and it doesn't matter who is in your way.

I think it's important to take the time (seriously, who doesn't have 2 minutes?) and ask the mailman how his day is. I think it's important to know your cashier's name at the grocery store. I think it's important to give up your seat on the bus/train for the elderly man, pregnant woman, or that guy in the corner who looks exhausted, like he might fall asleep on his feet. I think it's important to let others go first at a 4 way stop.

I LOVE it when guys hold the door open for me. I LOVE it when an older gentleman calls me Sweetheart, or that waitress at the diner calls me Sugar.

I want "please and thank you" kids. I want them to know how important it is to take the time to be polite and courteous and kind, each and every day. It's amazing the difference you can make in someones life by these very small seemingly insignificant actions. Try it. And raise your children to do it. Be thankful for good manners and spread them around. Together -- we could change the world, or at least our little corner of it!